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THIS IS MY STORY | I AM A SURVIVOR
"I was with him for 11 years.
He was handsome, charismatic, and intelligent. He was also manipulative, controlling, narcissistic, angry, ill tempered, and abusive. He told me he loved me, that he’d do anything for me, and I believed him.
From the outside we looked happy, I looked happy. It was a lie. I justified his abuse for years. I would tell myself that “he was just stressed” or “its not that bad”. I hung onto the idea that if I was patient, understanding, and loving that he would revert back to the man I fell in love with. Instead the abuse escalated. He started yelling at me for almost anything. He started threatening to “take everything from me” if I left him. He would call me crazy and make me question my sanity by denying conversations ever happened. He started blocking exits or restraining me when he was yelling, so I couldn’t leave. He started driving erratically to scare me into compliance when I disagreed with him. He started inflicting pain on me for fun by squeezing the sides of my knee with his hand until I screamed in pain. A few months before I left he raped me, he pinned my arms over my head and raped me while I struggled.
I knew I had to leave...
The crisis counsellors at WIC were compassionate, understanding, patient and knowledgeable. Together we made a plan for my exit from the relationship, when I was ready. They helped me apply for Legal Aid, Housing and Ontario Works. They provided me with a court support worker, who provided emotional support when I was attending court with my abuser. Since transitioning out of WIC, I have continued to utilize their supports with counselling and attended a group that focused on identifying healthy and unhealthy relationships.
I’ve been free from my abusive relationship for a year and a half now. Leaving my abuser was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but the best choice I ever made. The day I left was the day I took my life back. I’m now in a loving, caring, and mutually respectful relationship, and I’ve also been accepted to Algoma University for the Fall!
I want all women to know that the abuse not your fault. You deserve to be treated with kindness, love and respect. You deserve to be happy, and live without fear. The women at WIC are there to offer support, resources and counselling to any woman experiencing violence or abuse. Please call them today!"
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